I realized that I didn't explain myself very well in my last post. It is a confusing subject... Very hard for me to explain or put into words. (Sorry if this post leaves you more confused than the last.) There are two thoughts that seem to contradict.
I asked myself and answered: "Do I wish we had adopted an infant so we could avoid these (hard) conversations? NO!"
I realize that sounded a little harsh. I didn't mean I hate infants or wouldn't want the bother of infants. Nor does it mean I love having hard conversations. It just means that if we had gone the "infant" route we would have missed the chance to adopt Pierson and Maylin. God definitely called/shoved us into the older children/sibling cue.
He had a plan for Traci and Adam. He had a plan for Yong-Sheng and Yu-Fong. He saw the two of them in need of a forever family. He saw us willing to adopt... He formed our family.
The fact is Pierson and Maylin weren't available for us to adopt as infants.
Even though my next statement was "Would I have brought Pierson and Maylin home earlier to save them from ever having to wonder about things like this. YES!
I would if I could have... but we couldn't.
If I could go back and change their life stories so that I could have been their mom from day one. I would in a heart beat. If I could take some of their past away by never letting it happen in the first place I would.
But to even ask if I would throw any of this journey away to have another child with no past.
Well... that is my absolute NO.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
|June 2010. 3 months after they came home.|
Is it a hard road for all of us... ? I guess it seems like the answer should be "yes". But honestly loving them isn't hard. Sure their are moments of frustration. Who doesn't have those? But being a family seems so natural... so easy. I wouldn't change any of this journey for the world. Pierson and Maylin you are forever Loved By Choice.