Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Rocking Chairs and Tears

Pierson, as he was sitting in a rocking chair: "I wish you got me when I was a baby."   
Me: "Me too. What makes you say that though?"
Pierson: "Cause I bet you would have rocked me to sleep."

Be still my heart! Our life as a family is a vicious cycle of "I wish". Do I wish we had adopted an infant so we could avoid these conversations? NO! Would I have brought Pierson and Maylin home earlier to save them from ever having to wonder about things like this. YES!

Now it is our job to hold them until they fall asleep as long as they want us to. It is our job to teach them what a future of love and compassion is, not to try and erase their difficult past. The two parts of their lives will be forever intertwined. To try and take one part away would unravel their present.

Pierson and Maylin we forever love you. All of you. Your past, present and future.

1 comment:

Kristi said...

Such big thoughts and emotions from such small people. I've had similar conversations with each of mine as well.
And oh how I understand your feelings. I wish that I could somehow take upon myself the pain of loss so that mine don't have to experience it. It hurts my soul when they are bogged down in the what ifs. But I wouldn't trade a second of it because doing so would mean that my house would be full of other little footsteps and voices...
It's a complicated, broken and yet beautiful story!