Recently I have been puzzled by the idea which some people have indicating that the love you share for adoptive children is somehow different than biological children. I just can't comprehend this logic. I know I have only adopted children but I couldn't imagine loving them any more than I already do!
When my child falls down and scraps his knee I can't imagine that I would hurt for him any more than if he were my biological child.
Or when my daughter gets excited about achieving her first flip off the trampoline at gymnastics would I be happier for her if I had given birth to her... nope!
When my son cries at the loss of his "pet bug" would I sympathize with him anymore? No!
When my little girl needs to snuggle to go to sleep would I snuggle closer if she were my flesh and blood? no way.
When my kids squeal from excitement after finding a tree frog in the tree they have been climbing would I think it was more cute if they grew inside my tummy? ...nope
I believe that love is a choice not a feeling. I believe that adoption is a choice not an alternative.
A child is a child. If you are able to look into their souls you can see that they all just want love, support, sympathy, empathy, hugs, snuggles, cheers, and smiles.
When Adam and I decided that we wanted to adopt rather than have biological children. Unfortunately more than one person indicated that they felt sorry for me as I was giving up the chance to feel the special bond between a mother and her baby. ???
Maybe I am sacrificing something? But it sure doesn't seem like a sacrifice when my children look me in the eyes and say, "I yuooove you Moummie". Or when their eyes light up when I walk in a room. Or when they fall asleep cuddled in my arms. If it is a sacrifice that I somehow don't understand, I would do it all over again tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that. That is what my Savior did for me and this is what he has called me to do for others. James 1:27 Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the widow and the orphans in their distress.
Having biological children means one less child we could give a forever family... and for us that is just not acceptable.
I do believe that God calls us all to different things. This just happens to be our calling.
6 comments:
Please don't let people who don't understand get you down. I have biological children and we still plan on adopting in the coming years. Will I love one more than the other? No way! I don't even have a referral or know where we will be led, but I do know there is a child out there waiting for me, and I already love them! Is that crazy? Maybe to some...but not to me. Love you guys so much for doing what you are doing and for being the blessing that you are to me and to so many others!
What a great post! And I couldn't agree with you more! You said what I think all the time (only you said it so much better than could.) :)
And to Bekah, the previous poster, no, you are not crazy for loving that child. God put them in your heart even before you know them.
One thing I've learned is that all we can do is try to let our love radiate to show others just how much we love our children. And that some people will never be able to validate the relationship I have with them. But that's okay, because I KNOW that my love for them is real.
Beautiful pictures of equally beautiful children!
As a mom with a biological and an adoptive child - and after all these years - I can tell you there is absolutely no difference in the love you feel for one or the other. "I know one of my kids is adopted, but I don't know which one." What you and Adam are doing is wonderful - for all of you - we are so proud and so happy for you. Love, AC
As a grandmother of five beautiful adopted grandchildren I can say that they are a part of my heart and soul. I Praise God for Pierson, Maylin, Kylie, Caleb and Darcy and for their parents who have given them "forever" families.
My heart overflows!
you are a beautiful mom and your children are beautiful too. what a blessing to me you guys have been and i can only imagine how many people will be moved by your example of love.
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